Early morning has it's advantages

So, I usually begin my morning with a nice cup or three of coffee. I'm a purist so I have a 32 oz french press and religiously clean, grind, and press! Last week I finally got tired of becoming ever fatter and decided to start running. I'm a fairly busy guy so early mornning was my only available time. My alarm now goes off at 5am. From 5 to 5:30 I get my running clothes on and make and drink coffee!! Then I go for a two to four mile jog. When I step out my front door the stars are out, there are very few cars on the road, and the coffee usually doesn't kick in until I'm a mile into my run. I have noticed that the first mile of my run is always the most eventful. I don't know if its still early or if I'm still dreaming or what. Anyway, here is what happened this morning:

I got out onto the road and had run about a half mile when I say this guy walking down the middle of the street. He was walking away from me and was singing his own theme music and frantically punching or kicking the air to his own beat. A car drove past and honked at him to get out of the way. He moved to the sidewalk on the other side of the road. Once he got to the sidewalk a dog started barking at him. He (from now on I'll just refer to him as the crackhead) turned to face the dog and beat boxed a few punch and kick moves.

While this was all happening I was still mostly asleep. I just kept jogging and didn't really even break pace. It was just like I was watching TV or something.

The crackhead finished bustin' his moves and then kept walking down the street. Somehow the dog got loose and the crackhead starting running for his life! The crackhead's eyes were bugging out of his head and screaming a weird silent-raspy scream.

I, the sleepy jogger, kept pace. This was by far the most entertaining thing I'd ever seen running. The crackhead ran towards a tree and I thought he was going to try and climb it. For some reason he decided that would be a bad idea and started frantically looking around for another escape route. I too was curious about where he was going to find shelter. I kept up my pace, and looked around for another tree or truck or something.

This is when the crackhead spotted me. He had just taken off his hat and thrown it at the dog (as a distraction I'd assume....at the time it reminded me of those fighter jet movies when they deploy the metal thingies to confuse the heat sinking missiles). He looked right at me and then started to cross the street. He took off his jacket and tossed it at the dog as well. The dog wasn't really falling for the decoys. His sights were set on the crackhead.

I noticed that the crackhead wasn't actually heading for me. He was heading to the 6 foot chain link fence I was running along. I saw that the spiky tops to the chain link were still poking up. I thought to myself, "Ouch! Thats gonna hurt!" As I kept my pace, I noticed that one of his shoes had come off while sprinting across the road; the dog just jumped over it.

The crackhead made it to the sidewalk and superman jumped up to the top of the fence. Well, he made it about half way over. His bottom half hit the top of the fence and he executed a graceless front flip and landed on his head. I had a pretty good view of the whole thing as it happened about 10 feet in front of me.

I looked over to see what the dog was going to do (now that his potential crackhead meal had escaped). The dog seriously looked amazed at how strong he must be to scare the crackhead that much. Really! Its hard to describe a dog looking surprised. The dog stopped running on the sidewalk (he did not attempt the jump). I kept my pace (which led straight to the dog). The dog apparently had not seen me until now. When he heard my foot steps he jumped and kind of backed up off the sidewalk. I jogged by.

After I passed the dog kept barking at the crackhead through the fence.

Once I'd been running another 5 or 10 minutes I realized what I'd just witnessed. And laughed.

Beer Can Obsession!

Do you go home most nights and crack open a few brews? Maybe you drink 9 or 10 times a week? Perhaps you have a dedicated room just for your beer. Your room could even have a fridge completely stocked with your beloved beer. Some might call you obsessed. But they'd be wrong. At least in comparison to Jeff Lebo. He has dedicated his entire house to collecting beer cans! What an awesome hobby!

The next time your significant other comments on your beer indulgence just point them in Jeff's direction.

Jeff's leads by example. I hope that one day I can be as dedicated.

alldone.

Magic Coffee Cup that Stirs Itself!

If you are like me you add gobs of creamer and sugar to your coffee. After a few cups I finally have a high enough level of consciousness to for complex processes like stirring coffee. So, for the first few cups of coffee I usually end up just drinking it black. If you suffer from the same predicament then fret no longer! Over at brando you can pick up a magical coffee cup that will stir up itself! Just add your coffee, creamer, and sugar and it mixes it all together in a whirlwind action!

theend.

Beer Belly that gets you more beer!

Take a moment, glance down at your pudgy waist line and issue the order, "get me a beer!" If your belly responds with a, "Hah! Good one!" Then its about time you got your gut to do something useful (other than keep you warm all winter).

May I introduce the beerbelly! A revolutionary product designed to let you bring beer with you everywhere! The beer is sneakly disguised as a beer gut! I'm seriously considering purchasing one for myself!

thatsall.

I have the coffee!!

When you reach for a cup a joe make sure to avoid the decaf. Decaffeinated coffee has been linked to higher blood fat, higher bad cholesterol, and severly lacking buzz.

source: independent

New commandment has been found

Extensive research has gone into translating this image of the ten commandments. So, now you know. Drinketh coffee and beer thrice daily.

I will obey.

http://dannybunkins.org/commandmenttr/Drinketh+coffee+and+beer+thrice+daily

theend.

Roast Coffee beans sans electricity (or fire)

Picture this, you have just been marooned on a deseret island. The island is only populated with coffee bean bushes, rocks, and you. You happen to have washed ashore with a bunch of mirrors (damn your vanity!) and the clothes on your back!

In case you ever find yourself in such a predicament I would urge you to review solarroast's coffee roasting setup. They have branded the project with a 'low carbon footprint' banner; however, I would brand it with a generally awesome banner.

enjoy.

Keep your beer cold

During these summer months I usually grab a few beers and go sit in the back yard. I relax and sip the cold beer. Unfortunately, its so hot that by the time I finish my first beer the second is starting to get warm. The alternative would be to grab just one beer, drink it, then get back up and go get another from the fridge. But that ruins the whole 'relaxation' part of the exercise.

The good people at GRYNX have endured similar situations and they've come up with a little do it yourself project to keep your beers cold even on the hottest day!

theend.

Keep your coffee consumption in balance

Like everyone on the planet you probably know that the delicious beverage known as coffee contains a drug called caffeine. What you may not have known was that there is a very specific number of cups of coffee you can drink before you will die. In concentrated doses caffeine can be deadly. The folks over at energy fiend have whipped up a nifty little converter that will ask your weight, drink of choice, and then how much you'll need to consume before the caffeine will kill you. Give it a whirl. If it tells you consuming 250 cups will kill you......I advice drinking less than that!

thatisall.

Coffee Cup of Life

Scientists have recently confirmed what baristas have known for eons. Drinking coffee is good for you. Plain and simple. In fact, its so good for you that the next time I get a cut or scrape I'm going to stop what I'm doing and get to the closest coffee shop. I'll get two drinks, one for me and one to pour on my wound.

That'll teach 'em!

source:

http://www3.interscience.wiley.com/cgi-bin/fulltext/117943313/HTMLSTARTW?CRETRY=1&SRETRY=0

http://www.pnas.org/content/105/27/9325.abstract

http://www.annals.org/cgi/content/summary/148/12/904

theend.

Good rocks make good beer

Beer is mostly water. And because of this fact the type of water used to make beer has a large influence on the final products taste. Most breweries around the world acquire their water from local wells. And because of this the local geology of the area has a major influence on the beer's final quality. The type of rocks in the beer brewing area greatly affect the acidity, shelf life, and general taste.

Take care during your next pint to think about where, geographically, your beer has come from. Then during your second pint enlighten your fellow pub mates on the great importance of rocks!

source: http://www.nytimes.com/2004/12/14/science/14beer.html?pagewanted=1

theend.

Coffee is my religion

No, really. Every morning I spend several minutes engrossed in sacred rituals. I strive to grind beans and risk injury to heat water, all the while having faith that the ending concoction will give me a warm and secure feeling. I never miss a day of ritual. I just don't feel the same if I miss it. The coffee helps me treat others with the dignity and respect that they deserve.

Just like any other religion, I want to gain a more specific understanding of the origins and experience the varied interpretations of coffee. I've been saving for a coffee pilgrimage for the last little while. I hope one day to travel to the many holy lands of coffee.

Here are a collection of sacred places I'd like to experience:

http://www.worldhum.com/features/lists/best-cities-to-drink-coffee-20090310/

http://www.worldreviewer.com/info/worlds-best-coffee-places.html

May you all one day experience the wonder that is coffee.

theend.

Coffee Jewelry

In my pure pursuit of beautiful coffee and coffee related paraphernalia I have come across several interesting items. My woman's birthday was coming up and I, being the caring coffee drinker, searched the internet for some coffee themed jewelry. After only a few minutes of searching I was fortunate enough to find these delightful coffee cup earrings. I found them at etsy.

After they arrived I became slightly jealous. So I again renewed the search for coffee items and found some manly cufflinks. When we head out for a night on the town we both adorn ourselves with coffee and always have a great time!

theend.

The world is your coffee pot

While at work the other day I had a conversation that went somewhat like this:

Me: "I wish I were anywhere but here."
Coworker: "So do I."
Me: "Where would you want to be?"
Coworker: "No, I meant I also wish you were anywhere but here."
Me: "I would be happy anywhere with coffee where I could relax."


Coffee grows best in the temperate belt around the Equator between the Tropic of Cancer and the Tropic of Capricorn. Conveniently, these also happen to be some of the nicest places to visit. Here is my list of places to travel that produce the best coffee:

1. Ethiopia - birthplace of coffee, where there are many ceremonial preparations of the brew.
2. Cuba - world's first coffee plantation.
3. Java, Indonesia - where you can get kopi luak (see previous post!)
4. Blue Mountains, Jamaica - one of the most expensive and sought-after coffees in the world.
5. San Juan, Honduras - coffee roasting demonstrations, sugar cane production and other demonstrations.
6. Vientiane, Laos - served with condensed milk.
7. Kona, Hawaii - Kona Joe Farm - where you can watch the entire roasting process from tree to cup.
8. Columbia - world's 3rd largest producer of coffee beans.
9. Boquette, Panama - most breathtaking view of a coffee plantation.
10. Coban, Guatemala - tour Finca Santa Margartia plantation and take a tour of he coffee making process.
11. Costa Rica - La Finca Escondida is reputed to have all-organic-goodness-caffiene-high.
12. Kenya - best high mountain coffees on earth.
13. Rwanda - maraba coffee.
14. Sumatra - Indonesia's top grower of arabica beans.

For a few other fascinating places to visit follow this link: http://www.roadsideamerica.com/set/coffee.html.

Happy Traveling!

theend.

Steak takes bath in Beer

I don't cook much. Mostly consume beer, coffee, and the occasional morsel of food. I have found that adding beer to just about any recipe makes it more entertaining to actually cook the food. With that in mind I would like to introduce you to the beer steak marinade! I bathed my steak in beer (among other ingredients) and POW! Delicious tasting steak and a good reason to go buy more beer!

Enjoy!

Cat Poop Coffee

If you have refined tastes and happen to have piles of money sitting around then you should consider purchasing some cat poop coffee. If you go to the store looking to buy some then remember to ask for Kopi Luwak coffee. Also, make sure to bring your credit card as Kopi Luwak coffee goes from $450 to $600 a pound! The coffee cherries are eaten by a type of cat and then crazy people walk around the jungles of Indonesia and collect the bean laden poop. They sort the poop and ship it to your door!

source:

Mabbit: http://dammitmabbit.blogspot.com/2009/06/then-giant-robot-in-sky-created-mabbit.htmlhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJgsNIj1HWw&feature=fvw

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kopi_Luwak

theend.

Choose Coffee, not Obesity

If you are like the rest of the world you consume delicious beverages to pick you up and get you through the day. I'd like to relay some vital statistics that you need to be aware of.

If a cola lover opens a can and consumes the entire can then they have just enjoyed 97 calories. I don't know about you but I've never seen anyone consume one single cola a day. The average where I work is about six. So, 6 cans of cola and you have added about 600 calories to your daily intake.

Lets take the same scenario and instead of cola lets analyze a coffee drinker. Lets assume the coffee drinker also enjoys 6 cups of coffee. The coffee drinker will have added 0 (ZERO) calories. Regular black coffee does not contain any calories.

In one month a cola drinker will have consumed 18,000 more calories than a coffee drinker!

I also submit to you that drinking coffee will raise your heart rate; which will cause your body to burn calories. Drinking coffee is like drinking anti-calories. Drinking coffee will make you produce less fat.

For a healthy life you do not need to drink coffee; however, at the very least just don't consume any sugary colas.

source: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/calories/NU00185

theend.

Coffee and Beer together, forever!

I'd like to take this time to remind everyone regarding one of the most beautiful marriages to have ever occured.

Take a hanful of coffee and a handful of beer, mix it all together and you get something magically delicious. Coffee Stout is a fantasitc! A good coffee stout will use actual ground beans for the coffee flavor. This beer is the ideal flavor and composition for breakfast.

Get some jam and toast, pour yourself a coffee stout, and read the sunday morning newspaper while you enjoy a delicious breakfast.

thatisall.

Coffee for Health

After all these years of coffee swilling it's a relief to find out that I've been getting more healthy after every cup!

Researchers have found that drinking a little bit of coffee will slightly ( less than 10%) reduce your risk for type 2 diabetes. They also found that drinking a whole crap load of coffee everyday will significantly (30% - 50%) reduce your chances for type 2 diabetes.

You owe it to your loved ones to consume as much coffee as possible. Coffee as been found to reduce your risk of many diseases, improve your general outlook on life, improve physical stamina and reaction time, and increase your sociability.

theend.

source:

http://men.webmd.com/features/coffee-new-health-food

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/coffee-and-health/AN01354

This morning I had to get up very early for work. So, last night, as I was preparing for my early, early departure I made sure that my coffee beans, water and pot were all set out and ready for my early morning coffee consumption rituals. Before I went to bed I knelt down next to my bed (as I always do) and said a quick prayer. I begged the Coffee Gods to provide me with the courage to rise early and brew. I also (as I always do) ask for a greater understanding of coffee, coffee drinking, and general coffee production.

After my prayer, I went to sleep and had the most fascinating and lucid dream about the origins of coffee. Through divine revelation I bore witness to the inception of the beverage now known as coffee. I witnessed a mountainside strewn with vegetation and I noticed a very lively goat dancing around a certain bush. The goat danced in a hypnotic rhythm that I found both disturbing and alluring. I walked toward the goat and just as I was about to speak my alarm went off and my dream ended.

One of my associates at work is an artist and is frequently called on by the local police department to assist in sketching crime scenes and artistic recreations of suspects. I described my dream and the goat to my friend and he drew this surprisingly accurate picture of my dream.

Let this be a lesson to us all. Pray every night and you will be blessed with revelation!

thankyou

Beer = Elixir of life (and health)

In recent news, a study conducted by avid beer drinkers (errr, I mean scientists) has determined that drinking beer will hydrate you faster than drinking water.

And of course the natural next step is that drinking beer will make you more healthy than drinking water! I propose from hence forth and forever that beer be consumed before, during, and after all sporting events! (whether you are participating or not!)

We owe it to our children to stay hydrated and healthy. I for one vow to follow these scientific findings to the letter!

I was compelled to post this image. It is a 100% accurate portrayal every single morning of my life. Although, maybe its more like 80% accurate since I would also have sugar and creamer in the mix. ;)

thatisall.

The Immaculate Conception of Beer

Let me start all of this by saying, "Hooray for Beer!" Alright, with that said lets move on with the enlightening scientific data.

Drinking beer is a serious past time for planet earth. Centuries of innovation and hard work have produced thousands of different genres of beer for our consumption!

I recently travelled* to far away Egypt while pursuing my doctorate in beeriology** and was pleasantly surprised to find*** this hieroglyphic painted on the wall of an ancient tomb. The drawing depicts ancient egyptians preparing for the nightly chug contest! Egyptians were renowned for the ability to drink more beer than the average mule.

I encourage everyone (of legal drinking age, of course) to get in touch with your ancestral roots of beer drinking by standing up right now and grabbing a beer.

thankyou.

* via Google

** at the online school of beer in Florida

*** in a Google image search